by Darla Jones
GUEST COLUMNIST
Spring is definitely in the air. Emphasis on "in," because it successfully went out and came in and went out and is on its way in -- again.
How do I know? First of all I have children. These children go to school. These self-motivated children fittingly opt to wear clothes when they go to school. Furthermore, these incredibly decisive children of mine carefully choose to wear the right types of clothing -- for recess.
So, in order to choose the correct springtime wardrobe combination, they instinctively check the weather each morning by opening the back door and sticking out their arm or leg to determine what the temperature is. They calculate the size of the clouds and the intensity of the morning sun and then begin the search for their clothes, which translates something like this: Monday -- jeans and a tee; Tuesday -- shorts and a tee; Wednesday -- winter coat, snow boots and gloves; Thursday -- shorts and a sweater; Friday -- whatever is not dirty.
You know, for weeks I have been fascinated by their choice in clothing. Now, I am beginning to think maybe I need to encourage them to choose a career in forecasting the weather. They're that good!
Another sign that spring is in the air is that I have already killed two -- count them: one, two -- flies in my kitchen! That means two things: One, I was only able to leave my door open for 15 minutes this spring before I had to close it, which also means that I can't leave my doors open until sometime in the fall because I absolutely detest flies.
Second, just so you know, the flies I killed were no teeny, tiny, skinny, hungry flies. No, they were big, fat and meaty. Don't flies fly south for winter? Because if not, they certainly found someone's food storage last winter.
A definite sign of spring is that, sadly, hot chocolate is out. That luscious brew made of real cream and bittersweet chocolate topped with real, slightly sweetened whipping cream now has to be substituted with other things like: chocolate banana milkshakes, homemade chocolate-Oreo-banana ice cream, Fudgecicles, ice cream sandwiches, hot fudge sundaes, and chocolate-banana cream pies with Oreo crust drizzled with fudge sauce.
Finally, spring means children's body clocks take parents to the edge of insanity. We've been living in daylight-saving time reality for how long? Like, five weeks now? And for some reason my children's body clocks are not adjusting correctly. No, they are still relying on what it looks like outside rather than listening to what their mother is telling them when they are inside. Let's not even talk about bedtime because it's only going to get worse before it gets any better. So this makes for very late nights and mornings that jolt us right out of bed, sending my children, once again, to the back door to stick out one of their limbs so they can be wear the right spring clothes for recess.
Darla Jones has lived in Tooele for nine years. She has eight children and loves chocolate.